Despite the fact that I just started this particular blog, I have been collecting stories for it (knowing that I would eventually blog again).  Today I will share one such story.  This particular one is from October of 2013...

The inevitable has happened.  My child -- my youngest child -- was invited to his first "boy/girl" party.  Not only was he invited to this party, but it was a birthday party for the girl that he likes.  And not only does he like the birthday girl, but her best friend likes Micah.  So are the days of our lives...

I, being a responsible mother, suggested that Micah needed to decide on a gift to take to the party.  He agreed to ask the birthday girl what she would like for her birthday, and came home from school the next day, very satisfied with this answer: "She said that I don't have to get her anything." While I appreciated the sentiment, clearly I knew better.  So I told Micah that he would still need to come up with an idea.  Now, he (being a teenage boy) did not understand why he needed to do this because "She said that she didn't want anything."  Trying to explain the strange nuances of a teenage girl, to a teenage boy is anything but easy.  Nonetheless, he finally agreed to take a gift; now we just had to decide on what it would be.

We happened to be at Kohl's on Thursday of this week (which was the day before the party,) and Savannah found some nice little "lotiony, pretty, girly stuff" in cute little travel bags.  We showed them to Micah, assuring him that all girls enjoy pretty, smell good lotions and stuff.  He promptly vetoed the suggestion.  We moved on.  "How about a Kohl's gift card?" I asked, realizing that he would actually be AT this party within about 20 hours.  "No," he answered.  So, as we sat together at dinner, Savannah and I were tossing around some ideas, and we got him to settle on a gift card.  We suggested Bath & Body Works, and were told "That would be weird."  Because (unbeknownst to us) boys can't give girls smelly stuff.  News to me!  How many pair of smelly socks have been given to me, from Micah or his dad, for me to wash?  Plenty!  Anyway, I digress... Long story short; we decided on Starbucks.  No problem; I actually already had a Starbucks gift card that we could use.

When we got home, I happened to be on the phone with my sister.  She reminded me that "Not everyone likes Starbucks," and suggested a movie gift card.  We could tie it to a box of candy and be done with it.  I offered the suggestion to my son, and he reminded me that everyone in the world likes Starbucks - besides me.  Did you catch that?  Everyone in the world, except for Laura Bakker.  Pushaw!  Whatever.  So, I went to the store to pick up something to attach the gift card to.  I found a box of candy (because I still liked the movie gift card idea, and was hopeful that he would think it was the best idea ever) and, just to be on the safe side, I also picked up a couple of birthday cake flavored cake balls from Starbucks.  Perfect!  I was even impressed with my own cleverness -- they were pink and they were cake pops; it couldn't have been any more perfect!  I got home and showed Micah the perfect vehicle for the gift card - the cake pops in the cute little pink Starbucks bag.  But rather than thank me, and tell me how blessed he is, to have such a clever mom, Micah shook his head.  Oh yes, that's correct - he shook. his. head!  What the?!?!?  "Exactly HOW do you plan to give her the gift card then?" I asked him.  "Do you want me to wrap it up in a box? Because that seems kind of silly to me."  The words that followed, made me take pause, and want to bang my head up against the wall: "I'll just hand it to her" he said.  (pause here, and let that one sink in for a moment)  "Hand it to her?!?! Are you freaking kidding me?"  I tried, once again, to impart my motherly wisdom to my son at this point.  I told him that it would be somewhat ridiculous to just hand her a gift card and say "Happy birthday."

After some discussion, he informed me that he wanted to use the box of candy.  Never mind that a Starbucks gift card has NOTHING to do with peanut M&Ms, and I had purchased this beautiful, perfectly appropriate little birthday treat from Starbucks.  I was tired of trying to convince him that I was right.  I proceeded to get about 12" of ribbon, and started tying the gift card to the box of candy.  Micah, with a quizzical look on his sweet, annoying little face, said "What's all that?"  "All what?" I said.  "All of THAT," he clarified, pointing directly to the piece of ribbon that I was tying into a simple bow.  I informed him that it was called ribbon, and how else was I supposed to attach the gift card to the box???  "With a piece of tape" he said.  That was when I realized that I have an impossible amount of work ahead of me.  And a lot of trying to explain how the female mind works... Wish me good luck.